Daily Practice ·
The practice of naming in the positive: talk today about what you do want
A brief practice to spot the phrases that describe what you want to avoid and rewrite them in the present, in the positive, and in the first person.
By Pedro J. Pérez
There is a quiet habit almost all of us have: spending the day naming what we don't want. "Don't let me down," "I don't want any more mess," "I hope I don't get it wrong." We say it without giving it much thought, but every time we do, our attention stays fixed on exactly what we want to dodge, and the imagination draws it over and over again.
Today you're going to do something simple and concrete with that habit. It's not about pretending nothing hurts or covering up what's going wrong, but about learning to phrase what you do want with the same ease with which you today phrase what you fear. It's a small discipline, almost handcrafted, that over the months reorders the way you talk to yourself and, with it, the way you live.
The practice Duration: 15 minutes
Gather your phrases from today
Sit down with a piece of paper or open a note on your phone. For five minutes, write down exactly the phrases you've said or thought today about what you don't want to happen: about work, home, money, your relationships, or your health. Don't correct them yet, just gather them. Try to write down at least five.
Point out the hidden "no"
Read what you've written and underline the words that negate or that name the problem: "no," "never," "don't let it happen," "avoid," "afraid of." Take three minutes. You're not judging yourself; you're seeing clearly what occupies your imagination when you don't notice.
Rewrite in the present and in the positive
Take each phrase and turn it into a statement of what you do want, said in the present and in the first person. If you wrote "I don't want to reach Friday exhausted," try "I reach Friday with energy for what matters to me." Spend about seven minutes rewriting all the phrases, looking for words that describe what you love, not what you fear.
Say it out loud once
Choose two or three of the new phrases, the ones that resonate most with you, and read them out loud, slowly, twice each. Listen to how they sound in your own voice. A minute or two is enough. You don't need to fully believe them: it's enough that your attention gets used to inhabiting what you do want.
Leave the list in sight
Keep the rewritten phrases where you'll see them today or tomorrow: on the fridge, on your phone's background, next to your desk. The idea is that, when the old phrase comes back, you'll have the version you chose at hand. Over the days, that version will start to sound more natural than the other one.
To reflect on today
What phrase did you repeat today that described exactly what you don't want, and how would you say it if you were talking about what you love?
To finish
What you name with your attention grows, even if you don't intend it to. That's why this practice isn't an optimism trick, but a way of caring for what you hold in your imagination. Do it today calmly and you'll see that, by dint of saying things to yourself another way, your life starts to resemble what you truly want.