Daily Practice ·
The filter of other people's words: practice not taking anything personally today
A brief practice to separate what others say from who you are, and to respond from calm instead of reacting from the wound.
By Pedro J. Pérez
There are days when a stray phrase —a comment at work, a curt message, an unexpected criticism— sticks to you like a label. And you start circling around it: why did they say that to me?, what did they mean?, could it be true? That circling drains your energy and pulls you out of your center.
This knowledge proposes something different: what the other person says or does speaks, above all, of their inner world: of their wounds, their beliefs, and their way of seeing. It is not a truth about you. Today you are going to train that distinction with a simple practice, at home or within your routine, to recover your serenity and choose your response instead of firing off an automatic reaction.
The practice Duration: 15 minutes
Choose a phrase that has stirred you
During the first two or three minutes, think of something someone said to you today or yesterday that still resonates inside you: a comment, a tone, a criticism. Write it down on a sheet of paper or on your phone just as you remember it. Don't look for the most serious phrase, just the one that still stings a little. If you can't find one, use one you remember from this week.
Separate the fact from the interpretation
Spend about four minutes dividing what happened into two columns. In the first, note only what is observable: what was said, at what moment, with what words. In the second, what you added on the inside: what you believed you understood, what you feared, what it reminded you of. You will see that most of the discomfort lives in the second column, not the first.
Ask whose phrase that is
For three or four minutes, ask yourself honestly: what story, what hurry, what fear, or what need did that person have when they spoke? Not to justify them, but to place their phrase in their world and not in yours. If you don't know their context, it's enough to acknowledge that it exists and that you don't control it. Write down a phrase that begins like this: "What they said speaks of…"
Return the label to its owner
Take two minutes to write down which part of that comment you decide not to carry. It can be a specific phrase: "This does not define who I am," "This is not a verdict on my worth." You don't need to fully believe it right now; it's enough to name it. If it helps, breathe in slowly once and release the air as if you were leaving that weight on the ground.
Choose your response before it arrives
Use the last three minutes to prepare for your next interaction with that person or with a similar situation. Write a single phrase or a concrete action you want to carry with you: asking for more information, setting a calm boundary, changing the subject, or simply not responding right away. Rehearse it mentally once. That way, when the moment comes, you respond from calm and not from reflex.
To reflect on today
Which phrase of the ones you heard today truly belonged to your world, and which one were you carrying without it being yours?
To finish
Not taking anything personally is not indifference or overlooking what matters: it is to stop confusing another's opinion with your identity. When you practice this distinction, you gain a small but decisive space between what happens and what you do with it. That space is the serenity you can begin to train today.